McGrath Moments

Whenever the kiddos have questions about God or religion, I get a little nervous. I don't feel like I have all of the answers and sometimes I have questions of my own.

Today I had my first visit at the perinatologist office and it went great! Talk about a huge sigh of relief! They said the baby and all of his/her organs look great and just as important, my cervix is staying closed and my body is doing everything right.

Yesterday was my first test on whether or not I can stick to not finding out the gender of the baby and I passed!! The Dr. asked, "are we finding out what this baby is today" and I said, "no"!! My Mom thinks that because the Dr. turned the ultrasound screen away from me, that it is probably a boy. With the other two kids, I had a feeling of what their sex was before we found out and I was right both times. This pregnancy, I have no idea! If it is related to morning sickness, this is definitely a girl. Deep down I hope it is a girl just because Brenna is extremely excited to have a baby sister and I don't want her to be disappointed. Braeden says he wants a brother, but I don't think he wants a brother the way Brenna wants a sister. But...to be perfectly honest, I am not sure our house can handle anymore female hormones. We already have our Diva. Either way, we are completely blessed and will LOVE he or she with all of our heart. So let the mystery continue.

Not sure how I feel about that. 32?? That just seems pretty crazy. I've been reminding myself of what I always tell my patients when they complain that they are getting old, "it is better than the alternative." That is really not a good way to think about your birthday. So on to more positive thoughts...

By the age of 32, I have graduated from college, gotten married, own a home(or at least continue paying for it!), have two healthy children, and one on the way. I have a GREAT family and amazing friends. I have a good job and I enjoy the people I work with. I have really been blessed during my 32 years. So no more focusing on how OLD I am getting, but rather all of the great experiences in life that come along with getting older.

On another note, the best Birthday present that I received today was Braeden's football team winning the "Superbowl" for the Kaw Valley League! Go Piper Pirates! They went undefeated this year and today was an exciting finish. More blogging and pictures on this to follow along with some pregnancy updates. I am feeling great now, so hopefully I can get back on track with this blog. No more nausea and slightly more energy!

I am a mess this pregnancy! First of all, I feel horrible all of the time. It is like having a hangover everyday, all day, without having all of the fun the night before. I'm 10 weeks, so I hope this will be going away soon. I am constantly eating just to feel half way normal, yet nothing sounds good to eat.

I am lazy. I have no motivation to do ANYTHING! On Thursdays and Fridays, since I don't work, I used to get up, get the kids ready and then take Braeden to school. Brenna and I would head off to Target and the grocery store. We'd come home, clean the house, and do the laundry. If the grass needed cut, I'd do that too! Now I'm lucky to get off the couch to do one small chore a day. Kind of a shock for Ed! Thank goodness my Aunt comes every other Tuesday to clean the upstairs...all of the bedrooms and bathrooms! At least that is getting done, just not by me.

I am constantly in a bad mood. I can't snap out of it. I really don't want to leave the house unless I have to. It is weird, but it is not really depression. It is like I'm always on edge. Don't make me mad because I have no tolerance for anything and unfortunately, it is our kids' job to make life complicated and right now, that is not something I can deal with. I truly feel bad for them!

Last Thursday before dropping Brenna off at dance class, I stopped at the gas station and went inside TO GET FOOD! I hardly ever go into gas stations and if I do, it is only to get a coffee. I came out with Grape pop, Jalapeno potato chips, and Gummie Bears. What a mess I am!!

The way I am acting, you'd think this is the first pregnancy for me. Not the first, but definitely the worst so far. I hope I snap out of this soon. I wish I could say this is the last blog where I'm going to complain about being pregnant, but somehow I don't think I'd be telling the truth.

...and so am I! I am 9 weeks pregnant and we are expecting a baby at the end of April. We are very excited, but we'll never forget how Braeden's pregnancy and arrival into this world went, so I will be on pins and needles until April.

At my first OB visit I was told that this will be the most uncomfortable pregnancy since it is my third. I can expect things to happen faster and the pain/discomfort to be more intense. I have already experienced that. The muscles in my abdomen have been quite achy. The morning sickness has been bad. My mood is all over the place...mostly in a bad place! She told me to plan to be in maternity clothes by 12 weeks. That is just around the corner. I didn't need new clothes until 5 to 6 months with Braeden and Brenna. We'll see what happens!

We waited to tell the kids until last week and they are pretty excited. Brenna keeps telling me what dresses she is going to put on the baby and how she is going to fix her hair. Braeden wants a brother. Someone is going to be disappointed! We aren't going to find out what it is, so it will be a big surprise to everyone on delivery day.

I have been waiting to post that I am pregnant because it puts it out there for everyone and I am always so scared something will happen, but here we go...publish post!

Every evening I lay out the kiddos clothes for the next day. Anything you can do at night to save time the next morning is the way to go!! Anyways, as soon as Brenna got out of the bath Tuesday evening she was asking me what I was going to pick out for her to wear tomorrow. This is how the conversation went...

Brenna: I am SO excited to see what I am going to wear tomorrow!

I picked out a matching skirt and t-shirt outfit that my parents bought her.

Brenna: Oh, Mama! I love it! I will look so beautiful and the kids will want to play with me!

Me: What do you mean the kids will want to play with you?

Brenna: They will say, "oh you look so beautiful, where did you get that outfit?" Where did I get this outfit, Mama?

Me: You got it from Grammy and Papa.

Brenna: Ok, I will tell them I got it from Grammy and Papa.

Me: Um Brenna, don't you think the kids will want to play with you because you are a nice girl and friend and not because of what you are wearing?

Brenna: (absolutely did not care what I had just said to her)I can't wait to show Daddy what I am wearing!

Too young for this!!! I found it all very disturbing and sad. I think it is sad that she thinks this way. I'm sure none of the kids at school care what she wears and I wish she didn't care as much. The next morning we had this conversation/fight...

Me: How do you want me to fix your hair today?

Brenna: All up.

As I am putting her hair in a pony tail, she changes her mind.

Brenna: Never mind, I want pig tails.

Me: I don't have time to change it now. You can pick pig tails for tomorrow if you want.

Brenna(with her teenage attitude): That's fine!! I will just change it when I get to school anyways!!

I just ignored the comment, but then I started thinking about it later. Am I going to have that child/teenager who packs her "prostitute wear" in her book bag and slips it on along with a ton of make-up once she gets to school. Absolutely not! Little does she know that she is training me now to be a mother who watches her like a hawk. I am learning what she is capable of while she is young, so I will be prepared for the "Future Brenna"!!!